


What River Saw

by NephilimEQ



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, F/M, River sees Nine, Time Travel, Unconditional Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 07:31:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16013207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NephilimEQ/pseuds/NephilimEQ
Summary: River Song ends up in a timeline that she's never seen before, where a man in a black leather jacket runs around the universe holding hands with a short blonde shop-girl. Much better than it sounds, one of my best to date!





	What River Saw

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** What River Saw **

River Song jolted slightly as she phased in, trying to figure out just _when_ she had landed.  She flipped open her book, trying to place the time and place…but it didn’t seem to track.  That didn’t make any sense, because she could hear a girl’s voice saying, “Doctor…!”

She couldn’t hear the other voice, but she was certain that it was the doctor who knew her because her _time_ said…

Then they turned the corner.

…oh, shit.

It wasn’t a Doctor that she’d ever known; and that was when she knew that it was the beginning of her own journal parting ways with her beloved Doctor’s.

Instead of gorgeous, luxurious hair, or soft brown, waves, there was a simple buzz cut.  Instead of a long brown duster, or a nicely-tailored tweed coat, there was black leather.  Instead of a dress shirt with a blue vest or a pair of suspenders with a bowtie, there was only a plain, dark green, v-neck jumper.

This was no Doctor that she’d ever known.  And he wasn’t a Doctor that had ever known her.  He had never known her. 

So she had to stay hidden.

River stayed out of sight, watching the two of them, realizing that the blonde next to him was the infamous Rose Tyler.  This was how he’d first met her, in this incarnation.  No wonder the girl had fallen for him so easily; even from where she stood, so far away, she could see the wounded yet bright look in his eyes from looking at her.  He was a battered and scarred man who looked to be in need of healing, and from the way that they held onto each other’s hands so tightly, she was certain that Rose Tyler was the one who had healed him, oh so many hundreds of years ago.

Never before had she seen the Doctor like this.

She had seen him after this, healed and still healing, rays of hope shining in his eyes, and righteous anger boiling beneath the surface of barely scabbed over scars that radiated out to the universe around him, furious at its’ insolence for not recognizing that _he_ was the _Doctor_.  

River smirked to herself as she remembered the playful mongrel that was always just one step ahead of every person around him, plan and sonic screwdriver at the ready, fake glasses tucked into his jacket pocket, on hand for whenever he felt the need to remind people just how smart he really was, all of it in stark contrast to his thrown together, disheveled, just-woke-up-after-sleeping-in-these-clothes appearance, which had only endeared him to her even more.

She had also seen him after the hope and boundless optimism, as well, where the pain of this golden-haired girl had finally been fading and there was a brief glimmer of true happiness and innocence that reflected the child within him, the over exuberant puppy who constantly tripped over his huge paws and insisted on having someone by his side to show-off to, who pouted when he didn’t get his way, trembling lower lip and all, but a sly look from the corner of his eye always showed that he could never be truly upset.

She smiled as she remembered that look, that “swag” as they called it, in how he could arch an eyebrow in your direction or cock his hip, with that _ridiculous_ red thing on his head, and put out his hand and have you convinced that you were in no danger whatsoever by being with him, and that you were entirely safe and about to go off into a universe that was a wonderful playground that held nothing but sweet promises and that, _some_ how, he made sure that you were the center of it all...

…but she had never seen him like this.

 _This_ was the man that encapsulated everything that she loved about him.  She could see anger, but not at the world around him; instead, it was turned inwards, towards himself.  She could see the admiration in his eyes when he looked at the blonde girl next to him, and she could see that _he_ could see none of the wonderful things about him.

And as she trailed along his timeline, unable, for some inexplicable reason, to pull herself away from it, she could see everything else that he was.

She knew that a boy, in _this_ Doctor’s future, her _own_ Doctor’s past, had once said about him that he was _like fire and ice and rage…_

In this form, she could see all of that.  River Song could see the fire in his eyes, the ice in his veins, and the rage in his heart, all of it fueling him as he and Rose Tyler made their way through the universe at a dizzying speed, feeling more things than she’d ever known him to feel.

_…He’s like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun…_

She could see the darkness that still covered his soul that had already shined out by the time he’d changed to his tenth regeneration, but still somehow had clung to his shadow throughout the years across time and space.  She could see the storm in his emotions, which were as violent as sun storms in the Antares Star Cluster…unpredictable and dangerously close to imploding in on itself.

_...He’s ancient and forever…_

From where River stood now, she could see every year in his face; yet, the years did not age him, but seemed to make him younger.

_…He burns at the center of time and can see the turn of the universe…_

Yes.  He certainly did burn.  In this Doctor she could see the burning so much more vividly than in either of the ones that she had known before.  It was strong and vibrant and ready to turn anyone to sheer atoms from the intensity of its’ blistering heat, all the while all of time and space rotating around him like his own personal orchestra, tied to his fingers with gossamer strings, ready to be played by him at a moment’s notice.

_…and he’s wonderful._

She continued to watch…and as she saw the Tardis become a part of Rose and the tears that came to his eyes as he saw the woman that he loved suffering for him…she knew.  Yes.  He _was_ wonderful.  Correction.  He was _still_ wonderful.

And now tears came to _her_ eyes, and she couldn’t do anything but let them fall as she watched the scene fold out in front of her…

“Rose, you’ve done it. Now stop.  Just let go…”

“How can I let go of this…?  I bring life…”

And with that, Jack Harkness, the maddening man, was brought back to life with barely a thought on her part.

“But this is wrong!You can't control life and death!”

 **“** But I can. The sun and the moon.  The day and night.  But why do they hurt...?”

River could hear the painful desperation in his voice as he said, “The power's gonna kill you and it's _my_ fault!”

A tear slipped from Rose’s eye as she said, “I can see everything.All that is... all that was... all that ever could be…”

Her Doctor stood up, facing his golden-haired and now golden-eyed girl.

“That's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?”

 **“** My head...”

 **“** Come here.”

 **“**...Is killing me...”

The man in the leather coat reached for her hands more gently than the curly-haired woman knew was possible as he said, “I think you need a Doctor.”

And as River watched him press his lips to hers, to take the Time Vortex onto himself, all she could do was let the tears stream silently down her face.  He had never told her about this.  He had never told her that the reason why he’d lost one of his regenerations was because of his love of this girl who was absolutely perfect for him in every way, shape and form.  She had just watched all of their time together and the only thing she could do now was cry.

He did not think himself for a single moment as the brilliant light slipped from Rose into him, flowing softly between their lips and their eyes, and for that, River knew, he was absolutely _wonderful_ …

He was wonderful.

And she was glad that she had seen how it had all began.  And also how it had all ended.

He was a Time Lord with all of time and space to live and breathe and love…and yet, in all of his nearly thousand years of living and breathing, he had only loved twice.  Rose and herself.  She thought about that for a moment, and decided that she was fine with it.

The man in the leather coat did not belong to her.  The man in the leather coat would always belong to the golden-haired shop-girl, Rose Tyler.  River knew that she could never own that man, no matter how hard she tried.  The one who was the purest that she had seen, the truest form of the Doctor that she had ever witnessed, would only ever belong to the Bad Wolf girl.  The girl who had, for a few brief moments, been a goddess of space and time, the first one who had loved him and that he had loved in return.

And you never forgot your first.

Suddenly, just as that thought hit her, like a rubber band being snapped, she was back on Earth with a man in a fez and a bowtie standing next to her, giving her a weird look.

“River…are you alright?  You just, sort of, uh, well, phased in, so it seems…are you alright…?”

She nodded and then reached over and wrapped her arms around his neck, tightly, enjoying how he wriggled in her grip like a child trying to escape the grasp of an un-favorite aunt, smiling as he finally stopped moving and waited with his arms in the air, not returning her hug, still stiff in her embrace.

“Uh…River,” he said, clearing his throat. “This is becoming…awkward. Could you possibly…unhand my person?”

She shook her head.

“No,” she said in a fierce whisper that only he could hear. “I will never let you go, Doctor. Not until I absolutely have to, you _maddening_ man.  You are a _wonderful_ man, and I don’t want you to _ever_ forget that, do you understand me?”

She felt him nod, so she continued to whisper in his ear.

“You are still here; you still burn with all of your fiery passion at the center of time, with all of your righteous and glorious anger, and you, you mysterious man, you infuriating man, you sweet man…you _wonderful_ man…don’t ever forget who you are.  That leather coat may be gone, but the man inside is _not_.  You are the Doctor, you are the raggedy man, you are a clever boy…and, no matter how long I am your wife, you will always have a heart that belongs to Rose Tyler.”

He stiffened suddenly in her arms at hearing the name, as though he’d just been hit by a bullet to his spine, but she continued.

“You were _her_ Doctor.  And the man you are now is mine.  But, in the end, I hope you get a chance to see her one more time…because no one deserves to have themselves torn from the woman they love in such a way.  Time and space brought you together and then tore you apart…so I hope you have your chance.  Because the man you once were will always be _her_ Doctor…and that Doctor will always be _your_ Doctor.”

She pulled back and looked him in the eye…and was shocked to see a single tear running down his face.

Gently, River reached up and brushed the tear from his cheek with a gentle swipe of her thumb.  She let her finger linger for a moment and then she touched it to his lips, the ones that she cherished so much and would never share with anyone else, and gave him a soft look.

“My darling husband…when are you ever going to learn?  You have two hearts, and not just one, and I have no problem sharing that space with such a wonderful girl, the Bad Wolf who not only saved all of time and space, but saved the man who would eventually become the love of my life.”

At hearing her say the words, ‘the Bad Wolf who saved all of time and space’, he said, “How…how do you…how do you know…?”

With her hands still locked behind his neck, she gave him a wide grin and a wink and said…

“…Spoilers.”

 

 


End file.
